All About Eve II

I've been thinking a bit lately about the difference between movie sequels and movie serials. I remember a lot of complaints in the 1990s about sequel bloat, and I associate that particularly with a Roman numeral system and the use of the colon, like Rambo: First Blood Part II and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Times. They tended to be action movies anchored by a single star (although I'm sure that wasn't always the case) and the primary complaint seemed to be that they either wore out the original premise beyond any hope of pleasure or novelty, or had no real premise beyond "Here's Stallone again in the same outfit," and floundered in the absence of story.

Now I think we're in more of a serial age, and the most frequent complaints are about franchise bloat/the Marvelization of Hollywood, which I think is a pretty straightforward and understandable objection. Weirdly this has actually led to a nostalgic affection for a certain type of 90s-style sequel (Mission Impossible – Dead Reckoning, Top Gun: Maverick, come to think of it these might be a trend exclusive to Tom Cruise) that used to be considered part of the problem, although of course it's not all that weird for a trend to appear cooler in retrospect.

Of course there were a ton of sequels and serials in 30s and 40s too, although if I were to guess I'd say fewer of them were action/thrillers. Most of the sequels were either comedy franchises (Abbot and Costello Meet/Go/Do _____, the Dead End Kids), horror (The Invisible Man, Dracula, Frankenstein) or detective series (Bulldog Drummond, The Thin Man, Torchy Blane), and the anchoring stars more easily replaced.

What is hardest to imagine is a certain type of sequel dislocated from its appropriate era. You can sort of imagine a spinoff (in the way The Two Jakes was a spinoff from Chinatown but didn't invoke the same kind of creative anxiety as, say, Jaws 3-D) for, say, All About Eve that follows the subsequent rivalry and replacement between another set of actresses, but somehow you can't quite imagine All About Eve II, or at least I can't.

You just can't make a sequel during a serial era! The nearest I can imagine it if is someone doubled all the numbers in the script, like the only way a 1950s-era director could conceive of a sequel is through multiplication. "If you liked All About Eve, you'll love All About Eve

MARGO

Bill's sixty-four. He looks sixty-four. He looked it ten years ago, he'll look it forty years from now. I hate men twice.

BILL

Darling, there are certain characteristics for which you are famous, on stage and off. I love you for some of them, in spite of others. I haven't let those become too important. They're part of your equipment for getting along in what is laughingly called our environment. You have to keep your teeth sharp – all right – but I will not have you sharpen them on me, or on Eve.

MARGO

What about her teeth? What about her fangs? Remember she has a double row of both, like a shark.

BILL

She hasn't cut them yet, and you know it! So when you start judging two idealistic, dreamy-eyed kids by the barroom, Benzedrine standards of this megalomaniac society, neither of us will have it! Eve Harrington, both of her, have never, by word, look, thought, or suggestion indicated anything to me but her adoration for you and her happiness at our being in love.

MARGO

Thank you, Eve. I'd like a martini, very dry.

BILL

I'll get it. [To Eve] What'll you have?

MARGO

Two milkshakes?

MARGO

"Margo Channing is ageless" – spoken like a press agent.

LLOYD

I know what I'm talking about. After all, they're my plays.

MARGO

Spoken like an author! Lloyd, I'm not forty-ish, I'm not fifty-ish. Six months ago I was eighty years old. Eighty. Eight oh. That slipped out – I hadn't quite made up my mind to admit it.

BILL

I start shooting a week from Monday. Zanuck is impatient. He wants me, he needs me.

MARGO

Zanuck, Zanuck, Zanuck. What are you four, lovers?

MARGO

Liebestraum.

PIANIST

I just played it.

MARGO

Play it again.

PIANIST

But that was the ninth straight time.

MARGO

Then this will be ten.

MARGO

It's a great part and a fine play. But not for me anymore. Not for two eightsquare, upright, downright, eighthright, married ladies.

ADDISON

The audition is over.

MARGO

It can't be. I came here to read with both Miss Casewells. I promised Max.

ADDISON

The audition was at 4:30. It's now nearly eight.

MARGO

Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be two bumpy nights in a row.

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]