An Advisory To the Heat Advisory Alerts Con Edison Keeps Sending Me In High Summer

Weekly electricity update, August 10-17:

You used 4% less electricity this week. Great job! X)

Yes, it wasn't as hot out this week

You used the most electricity on Sunday

Yes, I was home more that day

On Sunday, you used the most in the afternoon

Yes, that's when it was hottest out

Reduce your use with these tips: Wash laundry with cold water

I wasn't doing laundry, but I'll bear that in mind

Improve your home's insulation

I live in an apartment building and it was 95 degrees out, I don't think it's the insulation

Choose a ductless mini-split heat pump

A what

Weekly electricity update, August 18-25

!! You used 34% more electricity this week :(

Yes, it was much hotter this week than it had been the week before

You used the most on Thursday :( :( :(

Yes, that was the hottest day of the week

On Thursday :( August 24 :( :( :( you used the most in the afternoon :( :( :'(

That is when it is the most hot out, due to the sun!!!

It made us so sad

I'm sorry??

Try insulating your water heater pipes

The low was 78! It was almost 80 degrees out at three in the morning! I don't think it's the water heater pipes!

Use light dimmers

The lights were off, my man! It was 101 in the shade! The lights were not on!

Please try a little harder next week for me (-｡-;

It will entirely depend on how hot it gets next week!

Let's get through this heat wave together

Okay! My plan is to turn on the air conditioning.

Limit using large appliances—such as clothes washers, dryers, dishwashers, and microwaves—between 2 and 10 pm

I can assure you that my plan for this heat wave did not include "a bunch of laundry at 3pm" but you got it

Use only one large appliance at a time

Way ahead of you! I don't know what you think most people do during a heat wave, but it's not exactly a vacuuming-and-blender party over here

Limit the use of air conditioning whenever possible

I will limit the use of the air conditioner in November when it's cold out again, if that's what you mean. But it's not really possible to limit it today, during the heat wave that we are having

If you have multiple A/Cs, use only one

If I have what

Set your A/C to the highest comfortable temperature

Okay but it's very hot out, is the thing, so the highest possible temperature is still going to involve running the A/C a lot

Use fans to help circulate air

Way ahead of you

Turn off your A/C when you’re not at your place and use a timer to start cooling a half hour before arriving home

Use a what? This isn't the Jetson's, I can't call my AC robot when I'm half an hour away and say "Go for cold." It's 101 and as humid as a cat's mouth by 8am, I'm not going anywhere

Prepare now for higher summer bills. Please do what you can to prepare now for higher electric bills this summer

I don't control the weather! It's going to be very hot out! "Hank Hooper is coming, Lemon, I don't have time for your nonsense; I'm always criticizing your shoes, but never offering solutions."

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]