Dante's Inferno, Canto XII

Canto XII here.

Previously: Canto XI. JUST A MINUTE, POCO MINUTE, whispered Virgil through a rag, I FORGET HOW BIG THE SMELL GETS. LET'S TAKE FIVE. HELL REQUIRES MORE ADJUSTMENTS EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A DIVE.

The thing about the next road was, you wouldn't like to look at it.

I mean it really looked unpleasant. You've seen ruins?

Just like that. A busted mountain. Oh, and worse,

we're sliding down scree-first into dust, and right away

there's the Minotaur. You know how bulls fuck cows to make more cows,

and men fuck women to make more people,

and traditionally, or typically, keep themselves to themselves?

He's what happened when they didn't. In a word,

it's embarrassing to look at him. It's untoward.

Soon as we hove into sight, he loses it

(staying in control is not a family trait)

and gnaws on his own arm like a corncob in bootless rage.

Gross!

So Virgil revs him up a little more: GO ON AND CHOMP, A-LITTLE COWBOY,

REMEMBER THESEUS, WHO KILLED YOU? AND ANOTHER THING:

YOUR SISTER, WHOS BEEN IN EVERYBODYS MAZES,

WE JUST CAME TO WATCH YOU SUFFER,

DONT YOU MIND US, HERE WE GO!

It shouldn't have surprised me, but the Minotaur

moves exactly like a bull would – takes a minute

to get up to speed, with a lot of bulk to lumber,

but let me tell you, what a minute – bucking hardly seems the word –

so we thought we'd take the chance to scoot a little further down.

I slipped on as best I could, with Virgil shouting, NOW THESE ROCKS

THE ONES YOU SEE HERE, YOU SHOULD KNOW

THAT THEY WERENT LAST TIME I WAS HERE

"Oh," I shouted back politely, "is that so?" and he said SO!

THEY DIDNT USE TO HAVE THESE ROCKS HERE.

AND WATCH YOUR FEET. THE GROUND'S NO USED TO

BODY WEIGHTS. THAT FELLOW CAME, THAT FRIEND OF YOURS,

THE BIG FELLA, AND SHOOK THINGS UP, AND LEFT A MESS.

(He always spoke of Christ this way. For the life, he could not grasp onto the name,

speaking always as if some distant friend of mine, well-meaning but big trouble,

had just left the room an hour before I got there.)

Then we stopped short of a bloody river, and Virgil threw out his arm,

announcing, HORSES. And sure enough, there were.

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